I'm in a relationship without actually being IN a relationship!!?

The 13 year age gap could be very confusing for you and him both. Perhaps you are looking for more of a commitment and he is looking for more of an adventure. Or maybe you haven't talked enough about what each of you means to the other, that would help clear some things up. What concerns me is how you say he had mentioned to you twice about telling the "women at work" about all he had done. This to me sounds like he's giving them a calling card to share the experience you have with him with these women. There's nothing wrong in asking him what you two are "doing" together.