What should I get my father for Christmas?

My Dad is interested in Football (he roots for the Redskins and Notre Dame), but his real pion is politics, and since I am in New Jersey Redskins gear is hard to come by. He is extremely conservative (we a re polar opposites in terms of politics) and he loves Ann Coulter. However, he is the slowest reader on the planet. I have no idea what to get him.